nexjen

[nexjen]

:Name:nex jen
Race:android
Age:24
Sex:male
Alignment: Neutral
Hair Color: black
Hair Style:shy eye
Eye Color: red
Height:6f5in
Body Appearance:my hair is flat and it goes down to my shoulders
whith bags under my eyes white teeth pointy ears fangs scars on
my chest and stomach and one running down my cheek i look buff
Clothes:skull t shirt leather jacket blACK BOOTS ripped up jeans
black spike braclet on both arms spike belt
Ki/Energy Color:black
Quote:your finished

Story:i was running away from the mob when a sayian deystroys the city i was on the out skirts though before i was a boxer whith a college education could jam on the electric guitar but after the blast i flew into a pit and i heard a deep voice whith dark red eyes say youd be a good experiment woke up outside a deystroyed lab three years later on a green planet while a green man called me nex jen

Starting Location:namek

Techniques[/u] wolf fang fist
hate rush
death wave

Special Notes[/u] scatter shot

[Nachi]

All right, here's what you need to do to fix this up.
-Use 3rd person. Talk about your character like you're narrating/writing/talking about them. So say 'he' instead of 'I', for example.
-You're gonna need some more punctuation and grammar... we don't ask for much here, but we do ask for people to keep their writing tidy.
-You start with two starter techs, not 4.

I don't wanna turn someone away because they ain't a perfect typer, but I can't accept someone unless they can be easily understood by everyone.
So just fix this stuff up and I'll give you another look.